Happy late Deepavali..and commence emoness..

So, 2 days ago was my Birthday. Also yesterday was Deepavali..the festival of lights. It was nice-ish (13th November)
It was good. We had many people over and we played with firecrackers and it was fun. I've realized I'm the kind of person who would rather hang out with little kids rather than mingle around with..'adults'. Technically, since I have finally reached the age of being called an adult, I should maybe put more effort into hanging out with older people...but they're so hard to talk to and...children are easy.. It's like "Hi, whats your name?, how old are you?..you wanna play with balloons and firecrackers?" See..soo easy. With adults it's all talk. Sigh, my opinion.

I watched a Hindi movie called Like Stars on Earth. Starring Aamir Khan, who might I say is very cute. It's a bout this little boy who has trouble reading and writing then his parents send him away to a boarding school and a teacher helps him out. I cried a lot. Maybe it's my love towards children or maybe it's the kindness and love some people have...but I cried a lot. I was just...I don't know. It made me happy yet sad. There's this one point where the little boy goes into depression and I know how that feels. To be alone in the world, to feel like nobody can help you. You feel like you're trying your best but people keep on bringing you down and you don't even know why. I know the feeling.

And now I'm sad........ Maybe I should just keep up the act of this feeling happy. Smiling and talking as if I've got my life under control....I am far from that. Far from happiness. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Do I really want to become a doctor? DO I want to torture myself for so many years? Do I? What do I want? .......................but Life has no time for me to answer myself ..it goes on and I am to be what I am to be.

These tears....they stain my cheek and I wipe them away. We must not let the others see. We must be strong and handle life. We must not be weak. We must...............live on. But why live on? When we don't want to....when all we want is to not exist. To be gone.................But it goes on...everything goes on. Everything is a phase and we're to adapt to these phases. It goes on..

Farewell humans.