Wii U Wii U

*This is not the new Wii U, This is a post with the title Wii U because if you say Wii U repeatedly, it sounds like a police siren...and I found that amusing...because I am weird. Okay..bye :S*

You know how I've been complaining that no one wants to listen to me and how my day is and my stupid life problems?.... Well Friday was a real slap in the face. One, I forgot to take my earphones to college. Two this guy that I knew last semester started talking to me so i mentally forced myself to talk to him. Three, in Bio, these young people ended up sitting beside me and I had to talk to them. Four, in Malaysian Studies, the teacher asked me what I learned the day before, and I forgot and I had to convince myself that it happens to everybody. Five I wanted to buy a shirt so I went to my friend and asked her, who do I ask and then I wanted my friend to ask but she shouted to the person so I went to the girl and she was a bitch. Yes she was a bitch. So this other girl 'attended to me and she was nice. So, life yes. I realized at the end of the day, that god heard me and was so sick of me complaining that HE said..you wanna talk, there TALK! A real slap in the face. Wow thanks god. BUT if you had been listening correctly, I want to talk to someone to release..thoughts. So, I won't be complaining any longer, I mean even god doesn't want to listen to me so we'll keep it in till we blow up and hopefully die.

Well anyways, today is a holiday and I LOVE IT! I feel happy. I may not feel the way that my insides need to feel to be alive again but for now this happy feeling will do :) Well then that's all for now. 

Farewell humans :)

FML..another rant -_-

sigh..... So, I've got a data test tomorrow and I hope I'll be able to do well. It's like this, when you continually do well in something and then when the next something comes along..there's a certain kind of pressure you put on yourself to do just as well as the last something. I mean me..I have to think about not disappointing myself, not disappointing my teacher and it all just really plays with my mind. To add to not being prepared for the test tomorrow, I'm also worried about a Chemistry assignment which is due this Thursday. This may be me being a brat but, teachers should give 2 weeks for assignments like these. It's worrying me and I don't know when I'll be able to have the time to do it because lucky me has Chemistry test on Wednesday. Which means doing it tomorrow is out since I have to study for Chemistry. To add to that, I just wasted an hour doing bloody Malaysian Studies because...basically, everybody else sucks.

I just realized the kind of person that I am. I'm a duty fulfiller and a nurturer. I got this from a personality test that I took. It is quite accurate. I'm the kind of person who worries until something is done. The weird thing about me is that, I'm also a last minute person. Basically, I torture myself with worry until the last minute where I'm doing the project and worrying more..and only when I'm done with my work, do i relax a bit..oh yes then I realize I'm going to suffer the next day because of the days events. I'm just a person who doesn't stop worrying. It's terrible. My mind feels like blowing up some times. yep.

The last post, I talked about boys and very little about twilight. However that seemed to increase my viewers..you could say? Unfortunately, I don't believe in that thing cause it shows like sites the people came from before the came to my site and I clicked on one and it ended up being a pornsite -_- Stupid..virus or whatever shit that's making all these fake people and promoting their stupid sites. I can't wait for Friday! It's a holiday. :D Woohoo! I want to drive on friday. I'll take my sister somewhere..Like Giant :P we start slow then go fast like a cheetah. lol yes. so then that's all for today. Farewell! :)

One of the things on my mind :P

The black eyes- He's so beautiful and white and glowing. He wears this black shirt which fits him right and he looks like my 'Edward' from twilight. I hate the movies, but i actually like the books :S I didn't want Robert Pattinson to be the lead. I already had a certain kind of face in mind. Not until a few days ago I realized just how much this guy represented the image of Edward that I had in my mind. He glows. That day, when his eyes caught me looking at him, i was mesmerized. From the few seconds we made eye contact, his eyes were black. He's just so beautiful. I want to know him. But I never will because I am me. weird and awkward and ugly. But it's ok. Because someone like that was never meant to be with someone like me. But...he's just so beautiful. He stands out in a crowd. Unlike many 'cool' people, there are no stories about him. I want to know him damn it. He's a vampire. lol..no i don't really believe that, but he's so shiny i want to touch his face like a weirdo damn it!

The swagger (lol) - He walks like he's cool. He wears his headphones and people near him can hear the music blasting from his headphones. His cap is on his head and he looks like he couldn't give a f*** about the world. I walked past him and after passing him my face was like 'wth?!' I thought "lol so stereotypical" and then i walked and sat where i wanted to walk and sit. Then he came back to the room i was in and luck of mine was low so, he ended up sitting behind me. I felt weird and I heard him laugh some of the times, probably watching videos. and yeah..Then the other day we went for something and he was walking alone and in all truth I was surprised. I wouldn't have expected someone like him to be alone? I dunno. However, I'm pretty sure he's part of that 'group' that are always there in the morning. yep.

So basically, that's two boys which I've been wondering about. Nothing special :P ok then
Farewell humans :)

Rant of the day- Tuesday!

Hello :D I exercised today! I'm happy. I've been putting this off for 2/3 weeks and now I've finally done it. Dear god I stink! TMI..yes i know. Anyways, today has been an unpleasant day, and everybody's ignoring me. So kind of hard to deal with alone. I've been told that I'm a good listener. I know I'm a good listener. However this makes its very hard for me to speak out. I know that if I call anybody, they'll just end up telling me stories about their life. I am not saying I dislike listening, I mean, I do like listening to everybody else's life, but sometimes I want to talk about my own life. Yes, it's not as interesting as everyone else's but I need to ... 'release my thoughts' you could say? My troubles are petty and can be fixed if I put my mind to it, but I still want to talk to someone. Sometimes, I want to tell them how MY day is going, instead of them telling me. I tried writing it down on a piece of paper but I couldn't. and then I thought about blogging about it, but I felt bad, like I was 'b****ing' about these people I listen to. But seriously  my intentions are not to hurt (?!) anybodies feelings. I just wanted to write it down? Ya.
I guess if I was heard more, I wouldn't be like this. Even when I talk nobody listens. I swear to goodness people have to make up their minds. If I'm quiet, then they say 'oh you're so quiet'. When I talk, they just completely ignore me. I swear, these people DON'T want to hear me. Sigh... so that was my rant of the day. Joyful -_-
Farewell people :S

Bullying

Hello people! Today I'm going to put my smart clothes on and talk about bullying.
So bullying...yes I did want to make a post after reading about Amanda Todd. May she rest in peace.

When I was younger, I felt like I was bullied. Looking back at it, now i know that I wasn't actually bullied. You see, people used to make fun of my name and in high school I had this friend who would throw names at me like I was a rock and yet I kept on being her friend. She was a smaller size compared to me but she would hit me 'playfully' which I didn't like. Being the scared one, I didn't speak up and tell her. You could say that I was less then mildly bullied.

We're human, we make mistakes. In Amanda Todd's case, she ended up making a mistake that followed her for a very long time and the only way out was suicide. I wish she had met a good person that could have at least helped her. The fact that that other guy played with her and got her beat up was just terrible. That ass and his heartless bitch of a girlfriend are probably going through hell now. If someone is threatening you with a stupid mistake which you had once committed a long time ago, the first thing to do is probably tell your parents, if that doesn't work, speak to people who will understand and will stand by you. Don't let people who bring up your past eat at you. If they want to live in your past then screw them. Don't be pulled back by them. Don't allow them to stop you from moving on. As much as society decides on the way you live, you also have a choice on the way you live. Society can sometimes be a bitch. The thing that i don't get is, I'm sure some of these people who were bullying her and being mean to her, had done the same mistake she did. Such two-faced asses. Amanda was probably stronger than all those bitches to have survived for so long. I hope the people and that one person who kept on tormenting her with her past goes to hell..and if not..has a very bad life. You have no right. So STFU and fuck off.

I also saw this other post about a boy who killed himself because he thought he was ugly. I feel sad, because I know what it's like to be judged on the way you look. The fact that everyone around him was mean to him because of the way he looked, speaks a lot about the generation today. It's like instead of moving forwards, we're all moving back. Judging a person on the way they look. to add to that, you make fun of this person without even knowing the kind of person he really is. You're NOT allowed to do that. You can't be so stupid to think that just because a person looks a certain way, he/she is make-fun worthy! Just because he/she doesn't fall int the category of pretty/handsome/hot/cute/beautiful/gorgeous..etc you put him/her in the ugly category. Well you know what ,screw you! Screw you because your stupid bloody thoughts don't matter. Screw you because you are a low-life who will go nowhere in life. Screw you because you think you're great when in real you're not even close to being right.

To anyone who is being bullied, please know that you can talk to your parents or your friends..or if you don't believe in that then you can talk to a stranger like me. Don't keep too many things inside, because one day you might blow up and the ending might not be well. So if anyone ever wants to just talk and get rid of stress, just comment or join experience project. It's a nice site for peopel who have stuff in common. So stay strong and live on :)

Farewell fellow humans :)

~you could call it..realization~

I realize that I really suck at blogging... I blog, expecting people to already know what I'm talking about. Worst blog in the world right here. I am hunger. I need to start exercising. I want to exercise, it's just that when it comes to doing it, I'm like..nevermind, I can do it tomorrow. -_- sigh

I haven't been eating properly. My body system is so weird. I get hungry but then I don't feel like eating.. seriously stomach, make up your mind. -_-

Today was ok. Everything was just ok. Some people are nice to me. Others don't give a fudge about me but I feel they're secretly not liking me. The world hates me and I should learn to accept it. I really should.

I have a presenttaion tomorrow. I'm not so nervous. Need to search for clothes :( God save me. An there's NO malaysian studies tomorrow! woohoo :D

Well that's an update..kind of..not really. :)
Farewell humans :)

You opened my eyes.

Yes, I know, I've abandoned you for a week+ ..I am sorry. But I just haven't had the mood. I mean sometimes I DO blog even if I don't have the mood, but the posts end up being very.. I don't know.. not fulfilling(?!)
I had a very full-ish day. Woke up at 9 believe it or not, then I went for a carnival. It was fun. No hot guys...but who am I to judge. I'm not hot myself so meh. not even cute... Terrible person I am. sigh

Well the carnival was alright, I took care of my cousins and watched them play games. I didn't mind. I loves them very much. Little devils they are :D Ya so I came back and I wanted to sleep but then I decided the day is still young, what better to do then watch a movie with theverysexy Hrithik Roshan in it. So i did that.
Name of the movie: Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
Its beautiful. Can you call a movie beautiful? It was just really...It made me want to really live. It made me want to be free. It touched my mind and heart and I just fell in love. It was something to think about. I shouldn't hype it up so much because, if you watch the movie expecting something and you don't get it..you'll be disappointed. For me, it was just a....real movie. As you can see, it really affected me... But how long will it last...how long will the effect of the movie have on me before I go back to not thinking that way....

Well, life goes on and we be who we be. I feel sad. I feel that there should be more to life? I feel that we should be able to really feel the depth of life and the beauty life is. This is very hypocritical of me since I dislike myself. My life is amazing. I'm so lucky to be born into this family and to have all these talents. The problem is me. I am the one who stops myself from being what my inner soul really is. I stop myself because I'm afraid and because I'm shy and paranoid and anti social and I just don't fit in. If only I had the confidence to be who I really was meant to be, then maybe i could love myself..just maybe. But for now this introverted person who wants more in life will remain. For how long? Well that's for me to figure out I guess.

I hope that if you happen to come across this blog you feel inspired by this post to look for the secrets life hides from us. I hope you look for what really matters and live life the way destiny chooses for you. For now, farewell :)