What else can I say?

Is it all a path we follow? Are we allowed to go off course just because we feel the need to?
Is this the path we follow? Are we allowed to change paths when we feel a sense of repetition?
Do we go backwards when we're trying to go front? Do we change our paths or does the nature change it? Are we all just followers of an unseen force....all hoping to achieve only happiness?
Do we all have different forms of happiness? Or is it all similar in a way?

So hello! How have you been? I've been alright. Surviving. I haven't skipped college in 2 weeks! Can you believe it? If I manage to get through this week then its 3 weeks! Now that's a HUGE achievement for me. No..I don' skip to go out with 'friends' or to watch movies. I skip cause I'd rather be at home.. comfortable and safe. I kind of wrote about a dream in the previous post..kind of. I've been thinking A LOT about it lately. It's just been getting on my nerves on how life turns out. I seem to think that everything is a sort of 'sign'. I don't know...maybe its showing me what I'll never have or maybe it's showing me that something of a similar situation is about to happen. The fact that I don't know pisses me off.

I don't know anymore. Would you choose happiness which is then followed by complete sadness and depression or just being completely emotionless? Not being able to feel anything..because your head and your heart can't take anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I turned out like this. Everybody else is happy and social and all together. Why am I different? Why am I not able to fit in? Why am I the weird one who sits alone? I'd rather be at home.