I start to back away whenever I feel I'm getting emotionally connected to something. That's probably why I'm my own bomb. As much as i want all that romance nonsense i don't think I will allow it for myself when the time actually comes. I think this is probably due to the fact that I am scared. That I don't want to allow anyone to really know me because I think if i let anybody in, they'll just end up hurting me and leaving me. By the was, this does not only apply to boyfriend-girlfriend things. This also applies to friendship and probably also family relationships. Maybe that's why I'd rather take care of kids than socialize with people my age. Because people my age want to know about me while children don't really care. As long as you're nice to them and treat them the right way, they'll be happy. While people..adults all want to KNOW about you. They want to know what you've been through, they want to know how you're doing.
Or maybe, i just don't want someone to take care of me. I mean I want someone to take care of me but maybe sub-consciously i don't want that emotional connection . Maybe I want to be independent and live by my own terms. I'm not sure. Could this be another reason to why I'm so anti-social?..Probably not.
On the brighter side of life.... Exams are starting this Friday.. -_-
joyful.
But whatever said and done i just can't wait till they're over. I can't wait to get out of this country. :D
I probably should be studying Physics....damn my life. Gonna fail that -_- hope not..then I'll have to take it next semester and I am most definitely not looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to Biology and Data Management for next sem. Chemistry not so much.. heard it was tough. :S
I didn't plan on blog-ing today, but my other-self got the better of me.
I need to start disciplining myself...damn it. I'm such a lazy procrastinator. This will be then end of me I say! sigh.
I'm gonna go die now...no not really just going to go and try and study and if i can't do physics I'll just do Advanced functions. Should probably take a bath first :S
oook! fare-the-well.
No comments:
Post a Comment