Not a good idea posting this

Dear whoever that is out there,

I give up. This is me giving up. Saying I don't care because I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. Every time I get angry, i feel selfish. The fact is that I just don't give a fuck anymore. The only time when I'm at my happiest is when that little angel of mine is around. He's happy to see me which makes me happy to see him even more. He's probabaly the only person in the world who prefers me to the other 2. I love that boy. Of course he loves his mother more but his mother is a good one so yeah.

I want to disappear forever. I don't ever want to come back here. I want to go somewhere else and be somebody. but what if that other place is the same as this one...do i run again. I have never run. and now wanting to do it makes me feel so out of place. Sometimes i find it unfair that I am the person I am now. Why choose me to be the awkward one? Why did I have to turn out like this.? and yes i do blame that unseen force. I'm not afraid to blame because I know I'm going to hell. It doesn't matter how much good you do...the only thing that matters is that if you even do one like really bad thing you'll probably be going to hell too. See you there.

I've got no one to talk to. No one i can REALLY talk to. Why would you people want to know about me anyways.? I'm not interesting. I've got no personality. I'm the kind of person who has to 'act' in a way whenever i first meet someone. I hate all of you.

I sound like the kind of person who's insecure (yes very much), all about me (if only you fools knew), and a person who complains too much ( fuck you. I only complain to few people. I don't go around telling the world about my life...and yet this shit is on the internet....this is probably not wise at all...fuck).

Giving up...the best thing to do. I want to smoke and drink and get pissed high and then i want to get a massive hangover and then a i want to die. I just don't care anymore......................