Humans

These humans.....all of them... i don't know how many of them...all over the world these humans manage to make me feel bad about myself and manage to anger me. Damn their souls. 

How evil....Damn-ing their souls and all.

What have they done? What about them makes you mad?

Their faces. Their too good looking faces. Their out going attitudes. Their ability to talk to whoever. 

Isn't that more like jealousy?

Yes, it is jealousy. I want to be more like them and less like me.

Why?

Because ....i'm not them. Because being me makes you sad, being me makes you a boring person.

Who said you're boring?

I did have a friend who called me boring to my face..the sad thing was that she was a close friend.

That must have been hard..?

I don't care. People suck. All of them. 

Humans....i dont want to be a bi**h and start bi***ing about people..but i really want to. I don't get it. I'm trying to help with this damnd project and they're not telling me anything about it. I WANT to help. I would love to sit back and do nothing and get the good grades but my guilt doesn't allow me. So why are these people acting like i'm not apart of the group.....Humans. Fools they are. Fools.

To the person I spoke to yesterday while waiting for the train, you're nice. But i think you put yourself down too much. It's good that you're working for money for your studies. Don't ever give up hope...likelah you're going to read this -_-. 

Thank god for old friends. To the person i spoke on the phone with yesterday, thanks. You don't know how much i needed somebody to talk to me about their life instead of me worrying about mine. Even if it was only for a little while, it was much needed. :)

Can't wait till all these projects are gone! I hate presenting and all that. :S ooooook byeeee

Found :D

The little boy, Nayati, was found at 7.55am at Rawang this Thursday. Parents had to pay ransom, but they got the child :) A happy moment for the police I'm sure. Thank god he is back with his parents. traumatized but not hurt.

Farewell. :)

Life and Death

"To be, or not to be, that is the question"- Hamlet (William Shakespeare)


I had to do questions on Hamlet and i came across this very famous quote. In all truth when i was younger, i had no clue what this quote meant. I thought it was like " to be a doctor, or not to be a doctor" or "to be awesome, or not to be awesome" :P yes i made up the last one. Anyways, now realizing what it really means, well, it means a lot. To continue living or to die. Why continue living? Life is a burden. Life goes on and on until you either get a terrible disease, get into an accident, or you die because of old age. And throughout life there are so many things that just becomes a burden. So why go on living? Why wake up? Why go to sleep knowing that tomorrow will probably be the same as today? Why? Why? Why?

Yes i do question myself onto why i go on living. And i still don't know. I don't even like life. I'm greatful for it but i don't like it. Yes I have been very suicidal in one point of my life and suicidal thoughts do go through my mind everyday, but i never act on them. Why? because i know i can't kill myself. And even as much as i convince myself that people wont miss me, which is partially true, i still cant commit suicide. I don't think I'm afraid of death. But i think there is a subconscious thingy in my mind that's continually telling me that life is going to get better. and at times it does. at times, i don't have to worry about lots. At times, i have a very awesome and good day. And even though these things are "at times" only, that subconscious thingy in my mind wills me to go on living,and i do. That's just life. What about death?

Could it be that we are too afraid to die because maybe we will be judged on all the actions that we have ever committed and a judgement will be given telling us whether were going to heaven or hell. Could it be that we are afraid that instead of heaven and hell, there might be something worse? By the way, i don't care if you're Hindu, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Jewish or whatever. My parent's taught me to be open minded and to accept all religions. I believe in one ultimate God. At this point, if you're atheist you're gonna be asking me, " What proof do you have that there is a God?" and i would say "I don't have proof. I believe what i believe in, for my own reasons. So i would respect that you respect my opinions." I feel religion is what separates the world. if we didn't have all these religions there might be a chance for all of us being able to be one. I mean I'm not sure, but there could be a chance. And just because we may be from different religions, doesn't make us enemies. This doesn't mean that one of us is going to hell and the other isn't. We are judged on our actions, not what religion we follow.......Wow I've gone out of topic.

I think I've said all that i had to say?...i think. meh forgetful me :S Anyways, I've got to finish these Hamlet questions (save me God). Oh and a prayer for the still missing boy, Nayati. May he be safe and be returned to his parents as soon as possible. Bring some sort of faith in humanity back to me.

Farewell everybody. :)