True Love.

We all look for it. We all want it. To feel so loved that nothing can ever bring you down. Love is more than just a game for two. Quote from Nat King Cole's L--O-V-E. :)

Sometimes life just feels complete when the person you're craving for looks at you or smiles at you or even just looks your way. But the best thing that person could do would be to love you back. Wouldn't that be nice. To be held in the arms of the person you love. To hold the person you love. To get as much as a "hi" from the person you love. and no, I'm not talking about puppy love. not love from a distance. I'm talking about true, pure, ecstasy-like love. Oh how gorgeous it would be. One day, you will find that love. :) If you wait patiently and not lose faith or hope, that soul-mate of yours will waltz into your life. no i haven't fallen in love yet, I'm still waiting. I was just inspired by the movie "The Vow". Its amazing how two people can fall in love for the second time. Its just gives you a lot of hope :).

Anyways, on another topic, the little boy is still missing. I am very sad. I don't want anything to happen to him. I want him to be returned to his parents. I just wish i could do something else other than keep an eye out for him. I want to be able to actually do something so that the assholes who took him will be sent to jail.

Dear God, please help keep the boy unharmed and please let him be found. Don't let the bad ones win. We will pray.

I know i said i wouldn't be posting but as i also said, this is therapy for me. So i needed to rant about whatever.

Until next time :)

unknown

That post yesterday was a very heart breaking one. Why? Why the hell do these people want to kidnap such a young boy. i mean come on. What retarded minds and souls would want to be assholes? Why make the child's parents go through hell?? I feel like my life is insignificant now. Compared to the things going on. Plain dumb. I probably wont be posting anything for a few days because i need to get some peace before being able to rant about my own problems again. I'll keep the boy in my prayers. Please God if you're listening help put some sort of hope back into our lives by finding the boy in a good condition.

Until i find peace, :)

FIND NAYATI SHAMELIN

Nayati Shamelin Moodliar, age 12. 
Dutch-mixed Indian-Caucasian. 
1.50m height. 
Is wearing GREEN SHORTS, WHITE POLO SCHOOL SHIRT with SCHOOL EMBLEM. 
Kidnapped on the way to school on the corner of Jalan Kiara 1 & Jalan Kiara @ 7.30am on 27th April, 2012 in Mont Kiara. The vehicle used was a black Proton Gen 2. The tag number is WNH 1356. (Police have just verified that this is a false number plate). There were two Indian male occupants. If you have news of the missing boy or any news relevant to the case, please call the school @ 03.20938604, the police @ 999, or 019.2333065 and 012.3656202.

Meanwhile, please go viral with this news and keep a look out~ TQ

I know not many people read my blog but pleas HELP FIND HIM! We must not let these stupid human beings suceed in their idiotic plans. We must find him and give the fools who kidnapped him what they deserve and a peace of our minds. Please do whatever you can.

Unreal

Today, unlike any other day, I was alone-ish. which means *the couple* had stuff to do and since i hang out with them usually, i was alone. However, i ended up in a place i have been once before. The noise was familiar and the people there looked friendly enough. But of course my inability to make friends prevented me from really interacting with these people. i spent most of the day there. It was interesting. Lots of very weird things came up. LOL but after everything had been said and people became hungry, i realized that people who didn't use to smile at me were smiling and it was ok i guess. But that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is about the things that i thought about while walking back. Let me tell you about yesterday. After being in the bathroom for sometime, having talks with myself and stuff like that, i THOUGHT that i was an interesting person. hahah. Before the fact that i thought i was interesting really kicked in, in my head, God gave me today to burst that bubble of mine. To completely demolish the thought that i just MIGHT be interesting. OH NO. God full on pushed the fact that my life is not interesting to my face at full speed.

Oh yes, i did enjoy listening about this persons life and all. I did. and i wished that i had this persons life, probably because this person had friends. I'm pathetic, i know. And then i realized, I'm nothing. Not interesting. I'm not someone to be kept. I am someone people use and as soon as they realize how f***ing boring i am, they run. They drop me like I'm not human. Like I'm an object, contaminated.

Yes, I'm not interesting. But some part of me still feels that i could be. I've got stories. Stories, personal stories. I could tell them, if i trusted people enough. I could. I wish i could make friends as easily as anything. I wish i could join this person group. Why you ask? Well, as much of a not-very-good influence this person would be to me, i think i need to rebel for now. I seriously want to just get a tattoo without anyone knowing. I want to get a piercing. I want to smoke weed. I want to get high as fuck and live to tell the tale. I want to get drunk and puke all over the place then get a hangover. I want to dirty dance with boys i don't know. I'm so sick of being goody two shoes. I want to say SCREW THAT or WHATEVER. Just so sick man.

The worst part of this is, I need people to do stupid shit like this with me. I'm the weird one. At least i feel like that. I'm not outgoing. I wish i was. I'm not the skipping class to smoke or "go out with boyfriend" type of person. I'm pure. As in, actions wise. Words wise, i swear alot,especially in my head. The amount of swearing i do is ALOT! Well whatever.

By the way, i know no one reads these posts. This is more like therapy for me. Just to rant about shit and nonsense and the arising suicidal thoughts. I feel that I am of no use in this world. Just want to disappear man. Get hit by a fucking truck or something. Life is not nice.

IN NEED OF BAD INFLUENCE. till next time,:s 

These fantasies of mine...

"You could sleep with the entire planet and still feel rejected."-the movie, The Science of Sleep

Just something i found while searching for romantic comedy movies to watch. I know, lifeless. :P

But in all truth i am a hopeless romantic. Its not my fault i like the thought of someone looking at me 'lovingly' or bringing me flowers.or stuff like that. note *thought*. hopefully soon enough it will happen? I don't know. It'll happen when it happens? gosh I'm so pathetic. yes so basically this post is about how i want to fall in love and first kiss and all that 'lovey-dovey' stuff. again, very pathetic...i know. but what can i say, not everyone may agree but having someone to know what you're going through is probably a nice feeling, but what would i know right? :S

Well today was interesting enough. Went shopping for dresses. :D i love shopping for dresses. Didn't end up buying anything though. I also watched a movie called Sixteen Candles. i thought it was ok but there's something too short about it. Maybe because its the fact that I feel They're trying to fit the whole movie into like a certain time limit, but it would have been better if they had elaborated on certain stuff. I mean really, what happened to the Chinese guy after he became sober. Did he ever meet the girl again? and even if you have a HUGE crush on someone, doesn't mean you will follow them back to their house so that you can blow candles..oh wait they didn't, obviously they ended up making out. Wow i didn't see that coming -_-

Found out that Russel Peters tickets are sold out. DAMNESS! would have loved to go and laugh my ass off. Would have been awesome, but whatever. That's life. you get some and then you just don't. I have to act in a play next week. The only thing that I'm probably afraid about is forgetting my lines in front of so many people. But i think my "New found" arrogance-ish-confidence might allow me to remember? hopefully. Yes i AM adding somewhat of arrogance to my fake confidence cause i don't think i can take not going 'what the f*** you looking at' in my head at people. So yeah. I'm going to stick with this and see where it takes me.

Till the next time , :)

Concerts

So today i went for a concert. It was a Christian rock and roll concert with songs about Christianity and stuff like that. (BTW I'm a Hindu) I go for these things because my Aunty bought the tickets and I thought it would be fun. I don't really want to get onto the religion topic...well because i don't want.. LAH :P anyways concerts. Today's concert was Israel Houghton and The Planet Shakers. Both were exceptionally amazing. Its probably me, but, the fact that they combined these songs with rock and roll is just amazing. I found myself head-banging and jumping and screaming for more by the end of this concert. As much as it was a Christian concert,I felt like it was a normal concert. I enjoyed the amount of love these people (lol look at me talking about Christians like they're aliens...I am so going to hell...sigh) had for Jesus and i just thought of how this people have something to live for. From what little knowledge i know, Hinduism allows you to be you as long as you do the right thing and believe in God. damn it..I've gotten off topic. :S ok wait, back to concerts. so yes this concert made me really realise that i probably don't have anything to live for. I feel like I'm better off dead. but that's the depressed side of me. and no this has nothing to do with the fact that this was a CHRISTIAN concert. I find myself feeling sad and like a part of me gone with any concert I've gone to. maybe its because i enjoy these concerts too much and maybe its because i get to sing as loud as i can and enjoy amazing music to the extent that i don't care what other people think, but by the time i come back to reality after these concerts are over i feel so....its....just so empty. and i hate feeling and thinking that "oh maybe if i had a boyfriend it wouldn't feel this way", something else you don't know about me. never had a boyfriend. I'm not commenting on that cause...well cause i don't want too. anyways, so concerts, that's always how i feel at the end. But going for concerts is like an addiction. I want more and i never want it to end.

CONCERTS

in order from first ever till now. :)

1) Gwen Stefani

2) Kelly Clarkson

3) Adam Lambert

4) Maroon 5 <3

5) Israel Houghton and The Planet Shakers.

Yep so there we go, memories.

P.S: Ive decided to post stuff cause I've realised i don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I don't know what Gods plan is but i hope in the future there's making new friends and feeling comfortable involved.

Oh and also one more thing, the drummer in Planet Shakers is sexy plus the dudes got serious mad skills! If somehow they manage to see this, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! Same goes to Israel Houghton! His voice is velvety and WOW! Pure ecstasy i say! :)

UNTIL THEN, :)